The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
Those are all great things, right? Who doesn’t want love, joy, and peace? A little gentleness and self-control would be great things in our world right now. Patience and kindness seem to be lacking, so it would be good to have those. We want those gifts! If we have all them, our life is better.
So how you get them? Some people teach you how to have peace and how to have patience. Follow their steps and pah! You will have those things. Maybe that helps some, but that isn’t what God’s word says. These are things the Holy Spirit gives you and grows in you.
Here is a comparison. Suppose for lunch, I am going to eat a sandwich and grapes. I make my sandwich – bread, ham, cheese, mayo, maybe a tomato slice if it is summer and I have fresh tomatoes. Can I make my grapes? Can you make grapes? I don’t know any person who makes grapes. They grow on grapevines. You can’t make them. Same with apples, pears, oranges, and other fruit. You can’t make those fruits. God makes the grow.
The same, you can’t make the fruits of the Spirit. God makes them grow. The people who say you must do things to have those gifts, they don’t understand. These are gifts from God.
How does the Holy Spirit make them grow in you? He uses God’s word to grow love, joy, peace, and all the gifts in you. Remember your baptism. God adopted you and made you His child, so you grow to become like Him. When we read and study His word, He teaches you and makes His gifts grow. When you fellowship with other Christians, you can encourage each other and support each other in following Christ. The Holy Spirit will work through that to make you grow in Christ.
When we go to church, we confess our sins. We remember the past week, we remember we were not patient; we were crabby and not joyful; we were not kind to a person, we were mean. We confess those sins and God forgives us. He throws those sins away from you. He gives you Jesus’ body and blood in the Lord’s Supper to forgive you. Jesus lives in you and He fills you with His love, and His gifts will grow in you.
When you go to church and you see His forgiveness and gifts for you, then you see how God shows you all the fruits of the Spirit. You see God’s love in how He forgives you, so now you are full of His love for Him and other people. You experience joy because He forgives and loves you. Now you have peace with God. God is patient with you, even though you sin, and so you learn to be patient with other people. You have experienced God’s kindness, His faithfulness, His gentleness in how He forgives you and doesn’t give up on you. When God is faithful to always do what is best and right for you, we also learn self-control.
Following a bunch of steps and rules might help a little bit. But that won’t truly grow the fruits of the Spirit. God makes them grow in you. Continue to read and study His word, go to church, fellowship with Christians, and receive all of His good gifts. He will make His gifts, His fruits of the Spirit, grow in you.